Can I get real with you tonight? It involves this white Christmas tree.
About 5 years ago we decided to do a fake Christmas tree. I said “If it’s going to be fake, it needs to LOOK fake”. I am not a fake person in any capacity and that includes not making something fake look real- like a Christmas tree. We went all out and found an all white tree. It’s the best kind of ridiculous. I’ve also enjoyed the uniqueness of it.
Until last week.
While perusing the Hobby Lobby aisle, I came across my tree. In porcelain form. “What?!” I thought I was the only one who had thought of an all-white tree with colored lights?! Ok, maybe not the *only* one, but to see it in uber mass marketed form was both fun (clearly, I bought the tchotchke) and annoyed.
I’ve been wrestling with my pride since that day. I am not unique in the way I thought I was. I feel even stupider that I am annoyed to the point of writing a post about it, having to hash out these odd feelings publicly.
It’s hard to not hear world’s mantra in my ears that “we are all special and different”. God has knit us together in our mother’s womb (Psalm 127) which makes us precious in His sight; but it doesn’t say we are all made uniquely. It’s a weird desire to want to not be like everyone else. Isn’t it a good thing to live at peace with all men? Wouldn’t I want to desire to be like people?
I reminds me of homeschooling. Every one of our daily school lives are different and that’s just the way we all like it. But then we roll our eyes, argue in Facebook groups, or complain to our husbands about how Sally down the street has chosen to do homeschooling.
I guess I’ve said all this to say: learning to not be prideful in wanting to be totally different than everyone else while also loving my neighbor who is different than me is a weird emotional battle. Have you had experience with this? What helped you?